I asked my oldest to reflect on her early years, when life was overwhelming for our family, she stated, "Mom, all I know is that you had your mind on other things."
What other things? Could some of those things been left undone? Could I have taken my mind off some of those things to give her more time?
My mind may have been on other things but my mouth was telling her what to do to help over and over. And she helped so much, what was her little mind feeling?
Dear Lord,
Thank you that she has forgiven me for the mistakes I made. Use those mistakes in her life for Your glory. Shape and mold her to serve you in ways that will make a difference in Your Kingdom. Use the experiences in her childhood to help her see more clearly, to think more clearly. Use those hard and lonely times in her past to help her feel the loneliness and trials of others. Convict her to reach out for those who are hurting that you are drawing her to. Give her the strength and wisdom to hear your leading and to complete your will.
Remind her of the blessings of her childhood and the love that others meant toward her. Help her to see a panorama view of the generations, the trials, the things that created strongholds. Give her the ability to see through the eyes of your heart. Fill up her empty places and heal any open wounds. Solidify her identity in you, her worth in you and her acceptance in you. Strengthen her to walk upright with diligence and determination.
Give her an eternal perspective of her struggles in life now and keep your presence around her until she runs down that holy highway to the eternal place of everlasting joy.
I ask this in Jesus name, AMEN
Isaiah 35: 8-10
"And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness....They will enter Zion with singing....Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."
...
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Believe Him
How did I change? When did it happen? The sanctification process...I can see it is happening. I am a new creature in Christ. My mind is renewing.
There was anger because I had to do something all the time. There was never time to rest or do things that I wanted. Each minute was needed to meet some basic need it seemed. Not a want but a need. At least that is how I saw it then.
Now years later what would I have done different? I learned that people relationships are important, that they make a difference. I learned that some things really didn't take that long to do. I moaned about having to do it longer than it actually took. It was all in my attitude.
My attitude was one of me-ism. "I" was doing it all. "I" never got to sit down. "I" need to do this to be happy. "I" need to do that to have a happy family.
To get happy was the priority.
This changed, worshiping this god of happiness. I learned that God did not put us on this earth to be happy. To be happy is not our goal. To glorify God is my goal now. To live a life that honors Him and furthers His Kingdom is my aim now.
I was sinking. The trials were pulling me down into a sea of lies about how to live this life. To keep my head above the water was a daily chore. I needed to reach the lifeboat of truth.
The truth that is found in His Word. The truth that is real strength for the journey. The truth that mends relationships and raises godly men and women. His truth is power to fight the me-ism that can keep us drowning in life.
He speaks to each one of us in our own unique situation with the truth of His Word. The bible is the living Word of God. It speaks to your crisis and tells you exactly what you need to hear during that specific time. This is how you can know His leading and feel His love and peace. He speaks to your heart when you read His Word.
How can God love millions of people like each one is His only child? He loves us just like a mother loves her newborn infant. Everything is about that baby to a new mother. She will not allow anything to harm that baby. Her life revolves around the baby's care. A mother will protect her baby with a fierce anger because of her love. God gave that intense protective drive to her.
How could God create these qualities in the human mother and not have that intense protective love for His own children? How could anything we do as parents for our own children be better than what the creator of all things would do for us, His children?
He loves us more than we can understand. God does not need us to understand. He only wants us to BELIEVE.
Hebrews 4:12 AMP "For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power (making it active, operative, energizing, and effective); it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and (the immortal) spirit, and of joints and marrow (of the deepest parts of our nature), exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart."
There was anger because I had to do something all the time. There was never time to rest or do things that I wanted. Each minute was needed to meet some basic need it seemed. Not a want but a need. At least that is how I saw it then.
Now years later what would I have done different? I learned that people relationships are important, that they make a difference. I learned that some things really didn't take that long to do. I moaned about having to do it longer than it actually took. It was all in my attitude.
My attitude was one of me-ism. "I" was doing it all. "I" never got to sit down. "I" need to do this to be happy. "I" need to do that to have a happy family.
To get happy was the priority.
This changed, worshiping this god of happiness. I learned that God did not put us on this earth to be happy. To be happy is not our goal. To glorify God is my goal now. To live a life that honors Him and furthers His Kingdom is my aim now.
I was sinking. The trials were pulling me down into a sea of lies about how to live this life. To keep my head above the water was a daily chore. I needed to reach the lifeboat of truth.
The truth that is found in His Word. The truth that is real strength for the journey. The truth that mends relationships and raises godly men and women. His truth is power to fight the me-ism that can keep us drowning in life.
He speaks to each one of us in our own unique situation with the truth of His Word. The bible is the living Word of God. It speaks to your crisis and tells you exactly what you need to hear during that specific time. This is how you can know His leading and feel His love and peace. He speaks to your heart when you read His Word.
How can God love millions of people like each one is His only child? He loves us just like a mother loves her newborn infant. Everything is about that baby to a new mother. She will not allow anything to harm that baby. Her life revolves around the baby's care. A mother will protect her baby with a fierce anger because of her love. God gave that intense protective drive to her.
How could God create these qualities in the human mother and not have that intense protective love for His own children? How could anything we do as parents for our own children be better than what the creator of all things would do for us, His children?
He loves us more than we can understand. God does not need us to understand. He only wants us to BELIEVE.
Hebrews 4:12 AMP "For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power (making it active, operative, energizing, and effective); it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and (the immortal) spirit, and of joints and marrow (of the deepest parts of our nature), exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart."
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Sanctity of Life Sunday
When I was still trying to accept what my life might be like I asked God,
"Why couldn't I have had a child with Down Syndrome?"
To have a child who could communicate, walk and laugh was something I could look forward to. Possibly the child could learn to read and play sports. A child with Downs Syndrome seemed practically normal compared to what I was being told to expect from my daughter. A child with Downs Syndrome could love me back with big hugs and smiles. The child could participate in play and enjoy the normal things in life.
What is it that God sends to earth to begin a life? The physical parts of a beginning embryo is well known. But what makes those cells begin to form a brain at just a few weeks after conception? Is the spirit of a baby normal or disabled before God sends it to earth? Is the task for the person to accomplish decided before they leave their heavenly creators side?
How can man make a decision about the worth of what God began? What human pride, satanic deception or fear causes a mother and father to stop the growing within? Why do we believe life is better with perfect people? Jesus was perfect and He was rejected.
If someone accepted the perfect son of God as savior how can they then reject what He sent to earth because it is not perfect? What reasoning says a perfect child is best? Maybe because they are like us, they are not different, they are not scary or unknown. We know how they will laugh and what they will sound like. We know how they will play, how they will talk and how they will eat. We are not afraid of the perfect child. We know they will be like us. That is what we want...someone like ourselves.
If they laugh different, if they walk different, if they talk different and if they look different we reject them. An animal will do that, pick on the weak or deformed, sometimes killing them. God made us higher than the animals, with a spirit, in His image. We marry our mates, unlike animals who have no formal way of honoring each other.
As we get away from God, His image, we begin to act like animals. We live with who we like, we have babies whenever, we reject the imperfect, we think of preservation of self. We abort 80% of all special needs babies, we abort 9 out of 10 Downs Syndrome babies. All to have the perfect life by our own making. All to gain inner happiness at all cost. We want to pick what we think will fulfill our emptiness.
How many families are denied the joy of a different child, are denied learning what only that child can teach...are deceived to believe that ending that abnormal life is the best way. Are persuaded to believe medical doctors who pretend to be all knowing.
Her parents were advised to put her in an institution. They would not, they kept her with the other five children. She had Downs Syndrome. Now, forty years later, many family members have been blessed by her love, innocence and joy of living life. The Lord has used her for His purposes. She is not perfect or the same as the other children, she is different. No one would think of aborting her or denying her life now.
In trying to gain a greater happiness we only destroy the one chance we had to work with the Creator himself in fulfilling His purposes in a world that will soon be gone. That little body is destroyed but that spirit that God sent to earth and was rejected is in heaven with many others praising God!
This life will last for a short time. We must be brave, bold and trust in Him. The reason many reject the imperfect or unwanted baby is fear...fear of the unknown.
Perfect love drives out fear. Jesus is perfect, do not fear. He is in control of all babies. The little ones are with Him, He knows them and had plans for them. He had blessings to bring to many through them.
"Perfect" will never be a part of our fallen world. For there is only one that is perfect and He will knit each baby together in the mother's womb until eternity.
Psalm 139:13 "For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb."
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, "
"Why couldn't I have had a child with Down Syndrome?"
To have a child who could communicate, walk and laugh was something I could look forward to. Possibly the child could learn to read and play sports. A child with Downs Syndrome seemed practically normal compared to what I was being told to expect from my daughter. A child with Downs Syndrome could love me back with big hugs and smiles. The child could participate in play and enjoy the normal things in life.
What is it that God sends to earth to begin a life? The physical parts of a beginning embryo is well known. But what makes those cells begin to form a brain at just a few weeks after conception? Is the spirit of a baby normal or disabled before God sends it to earth? Is the task for the person to accomplish decided before they leave their heavenly creators side?
How can man make a decision about the worth of what God began? What human pride, satanic deception or fear causes a mother and father to stop the growing within? Why do we believe life is better with perfect people? Jesus was perfect and He was rejected.
If someone accepted the perfect son of God as savior how can they then reject what He sent to earth because it is not perfect? What reasoning says a perfect child is best? Maybe because they are like us, they are not different, they are not scary or unknown. We know how they will laugh and what they will sound like. We know how they will play, how they will talk and how they will eat. We are not afraid of the perfect child. We know they will be like us. That is what we want...someone like ourselves.
If they laugh different, if they walk different, if they talk different and if they look different we reject them. An animal will do that, pick on the weak or deformed, sometimes killing them. God made us higher than the animals, with a spirit, in His image. We marry our mates, unlike animals who have no formal way of honoring each other.
As we get away from God, His image, we begin to act like animals. We live with who we like, we have babies whenever, we reject the imperfect, we think of preservation of self. We abort 80% of all special needs babies, we abort 9 out of 10 Downs Syndrome babies. All to have the perfect life by our own making. All to gain inner happiness at all cost. We want to pick what we think will fulfill our emptiness.
How many families are denied the joy of a different child, are denied learning what only that child can teach...are deceived to believe that ending that abnormal life is the best way. Are persuaded to believe medical doctors who pretend to be all knowing.
Her parents were advised to put her in an institution. They would not, they kept her with the other five children. She had Downs Syndrome. Now, forty years later, many family members have been blessed by her love, innocence and joy of living life. The Lord has used her for His purposes. She is not perfect or the same as the other children, she is different. No one would think of aborting her or denying her life now.
In trying to gain a greater happiness we only destroy the one chance we had to work with the Creator himself in fulfilling His purposes in a world that will soon be gone. That little body is destroyed but that spirit that God sent to earth and was rejected is in heaven with many others praising God!
This life will last for a short time. We must be brave, bold and trust in Him. The reason many reject the imperfect or unwanted baby is fear...fear of the unknown.
Perfect love drives out fear. Jesus is perfect, do not fear. He is in control of all babies. The little ones are with Him, He knows them and had plans for them. He had blessings to bring to many through them.
"Perfect" will never be a part of our fallen world. For there is only one that is perfect and He will knit each baby together in the mother's womb until eternity.
Psalm 139:13 "For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb."
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, "
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Full Circle
He has moved away. It is time for him to start his own life. This is what we have been working toward. It is time to let go. He is ready and able.
No more knowing exactly where he is or the details of all the activities in his life. No more late night knocks on the door to tell me about his night and all that God is doing in his life. We can't just take his car in to get it fixed, we have to ask him.
We are the ones to ask the "Why?" question over and over now! "Why don't you...?", "But why not do this?", "O.K., but why are you doing that?"...."Why not do it my way?"
In exasperation after many nice explanations, he states, "Because I don't want to. This is the way I want to do it." We are seeing more clearly now. If we love him we will let him go. He needs to be his own man to make his own decisions.
The "mommy" in me has a hard time giving up her job of holding his hand tight to cross the road. Now I must hold him with an open hand so he can come and go in the freedom of love.
Just as a bird leaves the nest by jumping off the edge, my son must also be allowed to jump. Unless he feels the wind under his wings in the open sky or adjusts his wings to balance and glide how will he know the joy of flying...the joy of being his own person in Christ?
He is responsible and can make good decisions. He is following Jesus each step of the way. We have done our job for this season. We now must switch to a different season, the season where we are parents of a man.
We have come full circle. He can soar on wings like eagles... he can run and not grow weary... he can walk and not be faint because he hopes in the Lord. The Lord has been requiring a little "letting go" of us each stage of his life so that now he is ready to go.
It is time for another circle to start, the circle of his own life. He will be led by the one who knew him before one of his days came to be. For Jesus knows the plans He has for him, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give
you hope and a future."
Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not
grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
No more knowing exactly where he is or the details of all the activities in his life. No more late night knocks on the door to tell me about his night and all that God is doing in his life. We can't just take his car in to get it fixed, we have to ask him.
We are the ones to ask the "Why?" question over and over now! "Why don't you...?", "But why not do this?", "O.K., but why are you doing that?"...."Why not do it my way?"
In exasperation after many nice explanations, he states, "Because I don't want to. This is the way I want to do it." We are seeing more clearly now. If we love him we will let him go. He needs to be his own man to make his own decisions.
The "mommy" in me has a hard time giving up her job of holding his hand tight to cross the road. Now I must hold him with an open hand so he can come and go in the freedom of love.
Just as a bird leaves the nest by jumping off the edge, my son must also be allowed to jump. Unless he feels the wind under his wings in the open sky or adjusts his wings to balance and glide how will he know the joy of flying...the joy of being his own person in Christ?
He is responsible and can make good decisions. He is following Jesus each step of the way. We have done our job for this season. We now must switch to a different season, the season where we are parents of a man.
We have come full circle. He can soar on wings like eagles... he can run and not grow weary... he can walk and not be faint because he hopes in the Lord. The Lord has been requiring a little "letting go" of us each stage of his life so that now he is ready to go.
It is time for another circle to start, the circle of his own life. He will be led by the one who knew him before one of his days came to be. For Jesus knows the plans He has for him, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give
you hope and a future."
Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not
grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Sunday, January 1, 2012
If you love me....
The day was busy for me, a lot to do with caring for children, home, animals and organizing "life". The little boy being two or three years old was on the go, he had a big yard, tall trees, ducks, dogs, cats, chickens and toys to fill his day. Still, he came to where I was doing the dishes and opened the cabinet under the sink. He took out something that he couldn't have.
With dripping, wet hands anxious to get to work I stopped and asked him to put it back. He looked up at me with his big beautiful eyes and said, "Why?" as he held on to what he wanted. I gave a few sentences in explanation and stated again to put it back. He replied again, "Why?". More reasons were given. He was not convinced. He knew what he wanted and that is what he focused on. "Why?" again. Another try at helping him understand...but "Why?", he said yet AGAIN! With no patience left at all I said in exasperation, "If you love me you will do what I say!" Then like a jolt I was given the thought that this is exactly what God is saying to me!
God tells us what to do in His word and by His Spirit. He tells us what is best for us. He answers our prayers. Still, we say, "Why?". We continue asking, "Why?". He continues to be patient with us...waiting for us to obey and then to receive his blessings.
Just as a mom knows the harm and danger from the things under the sink. God knows the big picture of our past, future and present. We forget that he does want the very best for us. We want our own way. We focus on the thing we think will make us happy and hang onto it. The "thing" for me was to have an easy happy life, free of heartache, no suffering.
How many times can a child say "Why?" until consequences are required? When is it time for the child to obey and the reasoning to be put aside? How long will Jesus wait? How many times will He give us another chance to obey? When will Jesus give us our way and allow us to experience the consequences? I am thankful that I chose to obey even if it meant letting go of the "thing" I thought I wanted. The suffering allows many blessings to be possible in my life.
As a child must obey the parent. We must obey God. God knows what is "under the sink" in our life. He knows what will harm us, what will cause pain. He wants to protect us. We may not understand God and what He is doing in our life but if we love Him we will do what He says.
John 14: 23, 24
"Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him to make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own they belong to the Father who sent me."
With dripping, wet hands anxious to get to work I stopped and asked him to put it back. He looked up at me with his big beautiful eyes and said, "Why?" as he held on to what he wanted. I gave a few sentences in explanation and stated again to put it back. He replied again, "Why?". More reasons were given. He was not convinced. He knew what he wanted and that is what he focused on. "Why?" again. Another try at helping him understand...but "Why?", he said yet AGAIN! With no patience left at all I said in exasperation, "If you love me you will do what I say!" Then like a jolt I was given the thought that this is exactly what God is saying to me!
God tells us what to do in His word and by His Spirit. He tells us what is best for us. He answers our prayers. Still, we say, "Why?". We continue asking, "Why?". He continues to be patient with us...waiting for us to obey and then to receive his blessings.
Just as a mom knows the harm and danger from the things under the sink. God knows the big picture of our past, future and present. We forget that he does want the very best for us. We want our own way. We focus on the thing we think will make us happy and hang onto it. The "thing" for me was to have an easy happy life, free of heartache, no suffering.
How many times can a child say "Why?" until consequences are required? When is it time for the child to obey and the reasoning to be put aside? How long will Jesus wait? How many times will He give us another chance to obey? When will Jesus give us our way and allow us to experience the consequences? I am thankful that I chose to obey even if it meant letting go of the "thing" I thought I wanted. The suffering allows many blessings to be possible in my life.
As a child must obey the parent. We must obey God. God knows what is "under the sink" in our life. He knows what will harm us, what will cause pain. He wants to protect us. We may not understand God and what He is doing in our life but if we love Him we will do what He says.
John 14: 23, 24
"Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him to make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own they belong to the Father who sent me."
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